CJ in CALI Funny Status Messages

   Ladies: Please dress how you would like to be approached and talked to. Don't dress like a hoe and expect to be treated like a Queen.

   If I found out I only had a week to live, and could go anywhere in the world, I think I'd go to the hospital because that sounds serious.

   Best way to get out of a text convo: "The message could not be delivered due to a temporary network setup error. Please try later. Error 2128-226110

   Dear Internet Users, Someday you will regret not reading me. Sincerely, Terms & Conditions.

   Let your hopes, not your hurts, shape your future.

   I dont ask for a blow job because the word job makes it sound like its strenuous physical labor. Instead, I ask for mouth hugs.

   There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief...and unspeakable love.

   If at first you do succeed, try something harder

   “The only trouble with resisting temptation is that you may not get another chance...

   Give yourself an even greater challenge than the one you are trying to master and you will develop the powers necessary to overcome the original difficulty.

   Never let your persistence and passion turn into stubbornness and ignorance.

   Love is like a Rubix Cube, there are countless numbers of wrong twists and turns, but when you get it right, it looks perfect no matter what way you look at it...

   Big shots are only little shots who keep shooting.

   People have champagne taste with a beer budget in a materialistic world...

   Evil enters like a splinter and spreads like herpes...

   You might as well do your Christmas hinting early...